3 Mistakes That Make Picky Eating Worse (And What to Do Instead)

If you’ve ever found yourself begging your child to take “just one bite” or bribing them with dessert to eat a vegetable, you’re not alone. Picky eating can make even the calmest parent want to scream into a throw pillow. And while your efforts are totally well-intentioned, some common strategies can accidentally make things worse.

Let’s break down the top three mistakes I see parents make—and what to do instead to help your child build a better relationship with food (and maybe even eat a green thing willingly!).

Mistake #1: Forcing Bites or Using the “One Bite Rule”

Why it backfires: Forcing kids to try food often creates power struggles and anxiety around meals. When kids feel pressured, their internal "nope" alarm goes off even louder—making them dig in their heels and resist.

What to do instead: Use food exposure without pressure. Put the food on their plate, and let them decide if and when to try it. Talk about the food—its color, smell, texture—but don’t require them to taste it. When kids are given autonomy, their defenses lower, and curiosity kicks in. Repeated exposure without pressure is one of the best predictors of success.

Mistake #2: Making a Separate "Kid Meal" Every Night

Why it backfires: While it feels easier in the short term to whip up buttered noodles (again), this reinforces the idea that kid-friendly food is separate from family food—and that picky eating gets rewarded.

What to do instead: Serve family-style meals with at least one “safe” food your child already likes. Let them choose what and how much to eat from what’s offered. This keeps you from turning into a short-order cook, and it helps them learn that it’s okay to have new foods on the table—even if they don’t eat them right away.

Mistake #3: Bribing With Dessert

Why it backfires: When you say “You can have a cookie if you eat your broccoli,” you’re sending the message that broccoli is the enemy and cookies are the reward for suffering through it. This elevates sweets to superhero status and makes veggies the villain.

What to do instead: Offer dessert as part of the meal, not a reward. If dessert is on the menu, make it a neutral offering. Occasionally serve a small dessert alongside dinner and don’t make a big deal about it. When all foods are morally neutral, kids are less likely to obsess over sweets or reject “healthy” foods out of principle.

Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection

Changing your approach to picky eating isn’t about getting your kid to love kale overnight. It’s about removing the pressure, supporting their autonomy, and creating a mealtime environment that feels safe and positive. You’re playing the long game—and every small step forward counts.

Need more support with picky eating?

I’m launching The Picky Eating Fix at the end of the month, sign up here to get emailed when it’s LIVE! Inside this course I help parents like you turn stress into success—without the power struggles, bribery, or throwing away entire meals untouched. There’s much more to come–I can’t wait to share!