The Spin Cycle

Do you ever feel like you just are in a tailspin? In your health, in your job, or in life? 

Yeah, me neither.

I was on a coaching call today and my client was in a full-blown tailspin. Epic proportions. 

Things have been going really well for her. She will tell you she's been doing awesome at "getting my life together." 

She's been meal planning. 

And then she's actually been making those meals. 

She's been taking her supplements, drinking the water, and trying to get enough sleep (although she has about a dozen kids, so I'm not sure how much that's actually happening). 

And then some virus hit the house (no, not THAT virus). Her, her husband, and million kids....all sick. 

And that sent her into what I affectionally call The Spin Cycle. 

She knew it too. 

Knowing it and being able to break the cycle are two different things. 

I used to spin a lot too--that's why I'm an expert at spotting it. 

My spins usually resulted in eating an entire bag of Starburst Jelly Beans or a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. 

Breaking them was an absolute nightmare. It usually involved tears and overexercising. And guilt. LOTS of guilt.  

My client is more resilient than I was back then. She just ended up in her closet hiding from her kids. 

Breaking spin cycles isn't actually that complicated. But that doesn't make it easy. 

The trick is actually to learn what your triggers are and lean into them. Avoiding them is impossible. 

Plus, you can't avoid things like getting sick (well, theoretically anyway). There will always be something. 

Breaking the spin cycles involves rational thinking, calming your nervous system, and having a plan in place for when this happens.

Because it will happen. 

So here's what I coach my clients on to get them out of "the spin": 

1. Recognize the pattern: does this happen every time your spouse is late from work? Or when the kids don't eat their dinner? OR is it when you follow your "plan" for a week and then fall off the bandwagon? 

2. Calm your nervous system: Take 5-10 deep belly breaths, 10 seconds in and 10 seconds out. This will help calm your body and help you to think clearly and rationally. (I sometimes find this is the hardest step because 5 slow breaths takes some time). 

3. Envision how you want to respond (this actually is often the piece you have to figure out first): when sh*$ hits the fan, who do you want to be in that moment? Most of us resort to the yelling mom, the grumpy spouse, the binge eater; we give up and decide that healthy living is not for us, or [insert your response here]. But I have yet to meet anyone who wants to respond in that way.  So WHO do you want to be in that moment when your trigger happens? 

For my client, she wants to be the mom who remains calm, keeps her cool, and doesn't immediately give up on her goals for her health. 

This is totally possible. Life is HARD. And we are completely in control of our response. 

4. Create a contingency plan: When you know your triggers, you take your breaths, and you know HOW you want to react and yet you still don't execute, what is your plan? Walk away? Go hide in the closet? Call a friend to come help? Plop the kids in front of the TV? What is it that you need in that moment? Do that. And then retrace your steps to figure out what didn't go as planned. 

Often I find that it's the smallest tweaks that we need to make to allow us to get through these times. Setting up expectations for ourselves, our kids, and our partners can be a great first step. Knowing that when you skip breakfast or don't get that second cup of coffee sets you up for a short fuse later can also be great self-recognition. Journal this. You WILL find common themes that you can use to help you skip the spin altogether. 

As for my client, she and her 500 kids are doing amazing. The frequency with which she enters the Spin Cycle has dramatically decreased since we started working together. She is learning the tools to support her own health, which in turn helps her be her best self for her kids and husband. And isn't that what it's all about anyway? 

Showing up as our best selves? 

I sure think so.